Building a Strong Foundation in Your Child: the Magic is in the Details
I’m convinced that the fundamental and distinctive characteristics and qualities of an individual - call it their moral and spiritual DNA, is formed by what is taught and trained, ingrained in them day-by-day over years and years. This process creates the very essence of their lives, the vital foundation from which future life decisions originate.
We humans like to compartmentalize everything. But life is holistic.* Everything’s connected.
For instance, our kid gets acne so we buy the cadillac of zit creams and slather it to remedy the crisis. But in actuality did you know that skin issues are most often a symptom of what lies beneath in the gut, the foundation of a healthy body?!
This revelation as it applies to our physical health is truly revolutionary - but it's just as powerful in our parenting.
The value of a solid, healthy foundation really cannot be exaggerated. It’s essential to a solid life. It’s the result of a consistent, faithful presence doing what needs to be done over the course of someone’s life development.
Find any individual having a positive impact in the world, look over their shoulder and it’s likely you’ll see a dedicated parent or parental figure who invested a lot into their foundation. It’s precisely what made the person who the person is.
A mother and a father have such power. Super powers in fact, but the most important people on the planet are ofttimes hidden and underestimated, and eclipsed by the myths of popular culture.
Historically, many mothers dismiss their influence as inconsequential. They imagine vainly that they’re flunkie moms, glorified maids, dull nannies.
They don’t comprehend that their daily multitudinous tasks for their family’s benefit are setting the mold for their children. They reckon, "if women can have it all, why on earth would I not hire out all the unimportant tasks to someone less gifted?" But very little is unimportant in the scope of parenting.
It’s easy for parents to overlook the fact that the most important moment of their lives is always **NOW**!
Yes, everything matters because this is a holistic, comprehensive approach to developing a human being.
the organic green smoothie you’re blending
the chore chart you’re making
the book you’re reading aloud
the iPhone you’re denying
the attitude you’re correcting
the big screen television that's not running
the thank you note you're requiring
the bed you’re making
the prayer you’re praying
the credit cards you’re shredding
the marriage vows you’re honoring
the political discussion you’re broaching
the foster child you’re nurturing
the meal you’re delivering to the elderly neighbor
the gossip you aren’t tolerating at the dinner table…is all working in synergy to produce a combined effect in your child that is greater than the sum of their separate effects to build a healthy, whole, stable individual who will in turn, build a healthy, whole, stable society with their influence on the world around them.
You are developing a culture in which your child is eternally influenced through all their five senses, soul and spirit.
Children do not primarily need the benefits of a mother bringing home an additional paycheck, but the entire household needs the influence of a mother in the home in these formative years.
We have only to scan the news headlines to see life after broken life, fool after fool, train wreck after train wreck of lives coming undone.
Unstable people without a clue.
Their foundations weren’t laid properly.
They are sorely lacking in substance.
It’s not a speech they need - too late for that.
Rehab may help. But it’s iffy.
It was the tireless, unending, laborious, exhausting, discipline and discipleship of a mother and father that was foisted off on others who didn’t have what it takes to get the job done in a youngster’s life.
Dr. Caroline Leaf, cognitive neuroscientist and best selling author confirms this principle in her book, Who Switched Off My Brain. “Childhood is a particularly crucial time for the brain because neural sculpting is at its lifetime high. Many of our abilities, tendencies, talents and reactions are hardwired in childhood and set a mental stage for adulthood.”
Herein lies the root of the corruption of public morals in our day. Character is developed over time and it’s what makes the world go round. It’s what determines decisions and divorces and successes and failures, monies made, stolen and given. Character drives the course of history, the condition of nations, cities, villages, communities and neighborhoods.
The dominant, constant force in that kid’s life is going to constantly dominate in his life.
It’s really quite simple.
Who’s imparting to your children-reminding, hugging, instructing, mentoring, training, re-training, repeat?
It’s all so clear.
This is easy.
This is too easy to miss when so many have their hands outstretched to take this responsibility from you.
It’s about developing values and conscience and conviction and perceptions and judgments and discernment both intentionally and ‘accidentally’ in a human being who will, in turn, touch so many other human beings for better or worse.
Your Two-Minute Takeaway
What specific, helpful thoughts came to mind as you read this post? Write these thoughts down, as they are the revelation you will be inspired by into the future so that you can be aware and take appropriate action for positive change as you build a healthy foundation in your home, for the benefit of your children.
Look at the big picture of your family's weekly and monthly schedules and evaluate what really needs to change. Are you so busy and distracted that you are missing so much of 'The NOW!' of daily life? I've been there and I understand. It could be time for a course correction. Pray and ask for wisdom to bring practical change to your weekly, monthly and quarterly schedule.
*Holistic: characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole